SHIT! What the hell did I do?
Elina's handphone rang.
Looking at the caller id, she didn't pick it up.
It rang again.
This time, she picked it up.
"Elina"
She kept quiet.
"Hello?"
She cleared her throat.
"Yeah, I'm here."
"Yup. Urm..well.."
"No. I just called just now.. just to.. urm.. "
Man, this is awkward!
"well.. just to say how inappropriate it was for me to act that way. I just.. I didn't know what got into me" Elina mumbled.
Silence.
For another few seconds.
"It's okay.."
Silence.
"Is there anything you want to ask?" Elina asked.
Silence. For a few seconds.
"Are you like seeing someone?"
Elina just listened to the words said by the caller.
She kept quiet, in her mind trying to arrange the words to say what her condition was now.
"It's complicated. But I really want us to try this again. I'm so sorry for just now. Start over? How does that idea sound?"
Silence again.
"Yeah. That would be great."
Elina smiled.
"I'll call you. You've had a rough night. Get some sleep, k? Take care"
"Take car..."
He hung up.
At least he agrees to starting over.
Elina then took her towel, and went to the bathroom to take a bath.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Friday, December 5, 2008
Elina-Jenny
Elina opened the door to her room. Her room mate, Jenny was watching something on her laptop with her headphones on. Then she laughed.
"Must be something funny I guess" Elina thought.
She straight away went on her bed, lying down with her face flat into her pillow, not even bothering to change her clothes. Hugged her pillow tight.
What the hell did I just do?
Why am I still feeling like shit?
She got up, sitting on the bed, took out her handphone, and stared at the screen. Then she pressed a few buttons on the keypad. Then stared again at the screen.
Suddenly she felt a tap on her shoulder.
Elina turned, and saw Jenny sitting on her bed, looking at her.
"Are you OK? Is everything alright? You look like such a mess" Jenny asked.
Elina just kept quiet.
She kept on fumbling with the buttons of the keypad of her handphone.
"You're not thinking about calling him, are you?" Jenny further questioned.
Elina just kept mum, yet again.
"Elina.......
You were the one crying to me, like 5 weeks ago.
And you started contacting that specky guy - what's his name again?
Well, whatever.
I thought you were so over him!
He has moved on.
With that very bitch!" Jenny exclaimed, furious.
She started walking away.
Elina's eyes were fixated on her handphone.
Jenny turned again. Looked at Elina.
"Still not saying anything? Fine, suit yourself. Just try to not break your heart again will ya?" Jenny said.
Then she proceeded to put on her headphones, and watch her movie on the laptop.
Elina looked at Jenny's back.
She doesn't understand.
No one will.
She looked at her handphone again.
Phonebook.
Breezed through all the names. Until she saw the one she wanted.
Dialing.
One ring.
Two rings.
"Elina?"
Elina hung up.
"Must be something funny I guess" Elina thought.
She straight away went on her bed, lying down with her face flat into her pillow, not even bothering to change her clothes. Hugged her pillow tight.
What the hell did I just do?
Why am I still feeling like shit?
She got up, sitting on the bed, took out her handphone, and stared at the screen. Then she pressed a few buttons on the keypad. Then stared again at the screen.
Suddenly she felt a tap on her shoulder.
Elina turned, and saw Jenny sitting on her bed, looking at her.
"Are you OK? Is everything alright? You look like such a mess" Jenny asked.
Elina just kept quiet.
She kept on fumbling with the buttons of the keypad of her handphone.
"You're not thinking about calling him, are you?" Jenny further questioned.
Elina just kept mum, yet again.
"Elina.......
You were the one crying to me, like 5 weeks ago.
And you started contacting that specky guy - what's his name again?
Well, whatever.
I thought you were so over him!
He has moved on.
With that very bitch!" Jenny exclaimed, furious.
She started walking away.
Elina's eyes were fixated on her handphone.
Jenny turned again. Looked at Elina.
"Still not saying anything? Fine, suit yourself. Just try to not break your heart again will ya?" Jenny said.
Then she proceeded to put on her headphones, and watch her movie on the laptop.
Elina looked at Jenny's back.
She doesn't understand.
No one will.
She looked at her handphone again.
Phonebook.
Breezed through all the names. Until she saw the one she wanted.
Dialing.
One ring.
Two rings.
"Elina?"
Elina hung up.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
In KLCC
"What am I doing here?" thought Elina, while looking at the crowd around her, while she was sitting in the food court in KLCC.
Everyone seems to be having a good time, chatting, eating, laughing.
But why don't I feel the same?
I just feel like.. there's something heavy.. pressing against my chest..
"Elina? You want anything?"
She turned, facing a specky, wide-eyed guy, with a cap on his head. Clad in a simple t-shirt and jeans, he was holding a tray with a plate of spaghetti in it.
Elina just smiled but turned her head from side to side, signaling no.
The guy continued on talking, while eating the spaghetti, but somehow Elina couldn't really concentrate on what he was saying.
Her mind continued to playback what happened.
How she had a huge fight with Razan on that day.
How she took Razan's handphone and slammed it againts the wall.
How she ran all the way to the taxi stand, with Razan running after her, shouting out her name, and dozens of on-lookers staring wide-eyed at the drama unfolding in front of them.
What exactly happened that day?
What exactly did he say?
I couldn't remember. Did I even give him a chance to explain?
Who was Sarah?
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
"Elina, our movie is starting in 15minutes. Shouldn't we get going?" the specky guy asked.
She smiled, took her bag, and proceeded to walk along side the specky guy.
He continued on talking about something she wasn't familiar with.
While walking towards the escalator, she saw Sushi King.
She remembered Razan, his smile, his scent, how he talked..
SHIT!
That fucking bastard is contacting another bitch for God's sake!
She felt so angry all of a sudden.
Why did he contact someone else?
Am I not good enough for him?
What did I do wrong?
Without her realising, suddenly, tears started to collect in her eyes, and her vision seemed blurry.
She seems to be walking with no sense of direction, just walking, alongside the specky guy.
She saw couples walking, laughing, holding hands.
Why are these people so happy?
..
..
..
..
Can I ever feel that way again?
Why do I feel my chest getting heavy?
I can't breathe..
..
..
..
..
..
"Elina? Are you okay?"
Elina looked up.
Her eyes watery, and tears started to stream down her cheeks.
"Why are you crying? Is there something I did wrong?"
She smiled, a forced one, and again turned her head from side to side.
The specky guy took out a packets of tissue from his pocket, and handed it to her.
"No, it's okay" she said, and wiper her tears off her face with her hands.
There was black ink smeared over her hands.
Shit... my mascara is smearing up..
"Urm, if you're not feeling well, we could just see this movie another day."
Elina proceeded to turn her head from side to side again.
However, her tears seem to flow more. She was crying harder than before.
"It's up to you. What do you want to do now?" the specky guy asked.
Elina looked up, and stared at the specky guy straight in his face.
Everyone seems to be having a good time, chatting, eating, laughing.
But why don't I feel the same?
I just feel like.. there's something heavy.. pressing against my chest..
"Elina? You want anything?"
She turned, facing a specky, wide-eyed guy, with a cap on his head. Clad in a simple t-shirt and jeans, he was holding a tray with a plate of spaghetti in it.
Elina just smiled but turned her head from side to side, signaling no.
The guy continued on talking, while eating the spaghetti, but somehow Elina couldn't really concentrate on what he was saying.
Her mind continued to playback what happened.
How she had a huge fight with Razan on that day.
How she took Razan's handphone and slammed it againts the wall.
How she ran all the way to the taxi stand, with Razan running after her, shouting out her name, and dozens of on-lookers staring wide-eyed at the drama unfolding in front of them.
What exactly happened that day?
What exactly did he say?
I couldn't remember. Did I even give him a chance to explain?
Who was Sarah?
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
"Elina, our movie is starting in 15minutes. Shouldn't we get going?" the specky guy asked.
She smiled, took her bag, and proceeded to walk along side the specky guy.
He continued on talking about something she wasn't familiar with.
While walking towards the escalator, she saw Sushi King.
She remembered Razan, his smile, his scent, how he talked..
SHIT!
That fucking bastard is contacting another bitch for God's sake!
She felt so angry all of a sudden.
Why did he contact someone else?
Am I not good enough for him?
What did I do wrong?
Without her realising, suddenly, tears started to collect in her eyes, and her vision seemed blurry.
She seems to be walking with no sense of direction, just walking, alongside the specky guy.
She saw couples walking, laughing, holding hands.
Why are these people so happy?
..
..
..
..
Can I ever feel that way again?
Why do I feel my chest getting heavy?
I can't breathe..
..
..
..
..
..
"Elina? Are you okay?"
Elina looked up.
Her eyes watery, and tears started to stream down her cheeks.
"Why are you crying? Is there something I did wrong?"
She smiled, a forced one, and again turned her head from side to side.
The specky guy took out a packets of tissue from his pocket, and handed it to her.
"No, it's okay" she said, and wiper her tears off her face with her hands.
There was black ink smeared over her hands.
Shit... my mascara is smearing up..
"Urm, if you're not feeling well, we could just see this movie another day."
Elina proceeded to turn her head from side to side again.
However, her tears seem to flow more. She was crying harder than before.
"It's up to you. What do you want to do now?" the specky guy asked.
Elina looked up, and stared at the specky guy straight in his face.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Razan-Elina
Honk!
"He's honking for you already" said Jenny.
"Let him honk all he want. I'm not some cow he honks across the road. I want him to come up and pick me up for this date" said Elina while applying her lipgloss, staring at her reflection in the mirror.
With shoulder length, dark hair, and fully pouted red lips, she does seem a bit like a vampire, as she is dressed in a black t-shirt and jeans.
Honk! Honk!
Knock knock.
Honk!
Jenny opened the door.
There stood a man, in his early 20s, about 170cm, and pretty well built, clad in a simple bluish grey t-shirt, not collared, and light blue jeans. Hair - black and parted in the middle.
Smiling sheepishly he said "Elina ready?"
Honk! Honk!
"So the honking wasn't you?" Jenny asked, with a raise of her eyebrow, still holding on to the door.
"Nope" he shrugged. "I don't honk my dates. I pick them up from the doorstep." he continued with a smile.
Honk! Honk!
Elina came down the stairs.
"Razan? I thought you were the one honking" she exclaimed.
Razan smiled. "I don't do that, especially to someone looking amazing like you" he continued, still having the smile on his face.
Elina blushed, and took Razan's hand into his and made way to his car.
A metallic blue Gen-2.
"Don't forget to come back before midnight! The spell ends there! The car would turn back into a pumpkin!" Jenny shouted with all her might, poking fun into the couple.
As Elina was fastening her seatbelt, Razan asked "What was the pumpkin all about?"
"Nah. Just our code to say that we have to be back before midnight. I'm still living in the hostel remember? Under the university's rule?" Elina said, and shrugged.
The Gen-2 drove on in the night, while the rain started to fall from the sky.
They arrived at Times Square, it was almost 8.30pm.
"Come on come on.. the sushi bar is going to be full! The RM2 bonanza is this week of all the days!" Elina said, practically dragging Razan across the 5th floor by his hand.
Suddenly Elina felt Razan stop moving.
"Come on baby, I tau Sushi King penuh, but we can fit in right? There's like 2 places inside there, I can see it! Let's go in before someone takes it!" Elina exclaimed, excited, and pulled Razan again into the restaurant.
Razan followed.
When she reached the table, suddenly she heard whispering.
There were 5 girls at the table, 3 facing her, and 2 with their backs towards her. There were 2 empty seats near to the table, near the sushi belt, which was near to the girl's table.
The girls continued to stare at her, and Razan and back at her, and start to whisper again.
Elina felt weird.
"Razan, you kenal ke..?"
Without finishing the sentence, Razan said "This was what I wanted to say, urm.. that girl is my ex.." and pointed to one of the girls, but Elina wasn't sure who.
Listening to that statement, one of the girls facing her stood up.
"So you're the bitch who stole Razan from me?" she said, with her hands on her hip, talking so furiously.
Elina looked at the girl, and back at Razan, who seems to evert his eyes at Elina's gaze.
"Hey, I'm not just a bitch who stole Razan, I'm THE bitch who stole Razan ok?" she said.
To which the other 4 girls stood up, and glared at Elina.
Looking at Razan frozen like a statue at the sight of his ex, Elina was furious.
"Bastard! Just keeping silent and not saying anything??" Elina thought.
"Razan baby.. let's just sit somewhere else where it's comfortable" Elina said.
"Where else would it be comfortable bitch? That's the only 2 seats left in the restaurant" Razan's ex exclaimed, to which the other 4 girls laughed.
Elina walked towards Razan, half hugged him, putting her hand around his waist, and then resting her head on his chest, smiling coyly, she said "Here's comfortable"
Razan put his arm around her waist too, listening to that cue, and kissed Elina's forehead.
Razan's ex just went berserk, her face contorted and became ugly -- she was ugly to begin with, thought Elina, and you could practically see heat waves coming out through her hair.
Watching that, Elina and Razan left Sushi King, and settled to eat at a fast food restaurant at another floor.
They were seating across each other, when Razan reached out his hand to touch Elina's hand which was on the table.
Elina looked at Razan's face, and said "There's no other girl right?"
Razan looked puzzled, pulled his hand away.
"Huh?"
"There's no one else except me right now?"Elina said again, louder.
"Yeah. What makes you think differently?" Razan said, smiling, and reaching out for Elina's hand again.
"Then put your handphone on the table. I want to check it" Elina said, in a matter of fact tone.
Razan took out his Sony Ericsson handphone. Placed it on the table. Next to Elina's plate.
Elina immediately check his messages.
Inbox. Elina. Elina. Elina.
No other names there.
Outbox. Elina. Elina. Elina.
No other names there.
Then she proceeded to see the call history.
No other girl names besides her. The others are all the names of Razan's friends, who she knows too.
"See. There's no one else besides you right?" Razan said, smiling.
Elina stared at Razan.
Razan tilted his head to the side. "Hurm?"
"Okay. There's no one else. Fine" Elina mumbled, then continued to eat her food.
Razan laughed.
"You ni comel tau time-time marah cam ni"
Elina just ignored the statement, and continued her meal.
"I need to go to the toilet" Razan said, and kissed Elina on the cheek before proceeding to the toilet.
Elina continued eating her meal, smiling.
"Razan.. such a fan of PDAs.. public displays of affection.." Elina thought.
Suddenly, Razan's hp vibrated.
1 new message. From Sarah.
"Should I read it?" Elina thought.
"Which Sarah is this? Do I know her? Maybe it's a relative?" all the questions came into Elina's mind.
She decided to leave the handphone alone, waiting eagerly for Razan to come back, and tell her who Sarah is.
After waiting for what seems like forever, Elina couldn't stand it, and unlock Razan's handphone.
1 new message.
Read?
Elina pressed yes.
"Sayang?"
The message written, clearly on the screen of the handphone.
"Baby?"
Elina could hear Razan's voice. She looked up.
At that moment, Razan showed up at the table.
"He's honking for you already" said Jenny.
"Let him honk all he want. I'm not some cow he honks across the road. I want him to come up and pick me up for this date" said Elina while applying her lipgloss, staring at her reflection in the mirror.
With shoulder length, dark hair, and fully pouted red lips, she does seem a bit like a vampire, as she is dressed in a black t-shirt and jeans.
Honk! Honk!
Knock knock.
Honk!
Jenny opened the door.
There stood a man, in his early 20s, about 170cm, and pretty well built, clad in a simple bluish grey t-shirt, not collared, and light blue jeans. Hair - black and parted in the middle.
Smiling sheepishly he said "Elina ready?"
Honk! Honk!
"So the honking wasn't you?" Jenny asked, with a raise of her eyebrow, still holding on to the door.
"Nope" he shrugged. "I don't honk my dates. I pick them up from the doorstep." he continued with a smile.
Honk! Honk!
Elina came down the stairs.
"Razan? I thought you were the one honking" she exclaimed.
Razan smiled. "I don't do that, especially to someone looking amazing like you" he continued, still having the smile on his face.
Elina blushed, and took Razan's hand into his and made way to his car.
A metallic blue Gen-2.
"Don't forget to come back before midnight! The spell ends there! The car would turn back into a pumpkin!" Jenny shouted with all her might, poking fun into the couple.
As Elina was fastening her seatbelt, Razan asked "What was the pumpkin all about?"
"Nah. Just our code to say that we have to be back before midnight. I'm still living in the hostel remember? Under the university's rule?" Elina said, and shrugged.
The Gen-2 drove on in the night, while the rain started to fall from the sky.
They arrived at Times Square, it was almost 8.30pm.
"Come on come on.. the sushi bar is going to be full! The RM2 bonanza is this week of all the days!" Elina said, practically dragging Razan across the 5th floor by his hand.
Suddenly Elina felt Razan stop moving.
"Come on baby, I tau Sushi King penuh, but we can fit in right? There's like 2 places inside there, I can see it! Let's go in before someone takes it!" Elina exclaimed, excited, and pulled Razan again into the restaurant.
Razan followed.
When she reached the table, suddenly she heard whispering.
There were 5 girls at the table, 3 facing her, and 2 with their backs towards her. There were 2 empty seats near to the table, near the sushi belt, which was near to the girl's table.
The girls continued to stare at her, and Razan and back at her, and start to whisper again.
Elina felt weird.
"Razan, you kenal ke..?"
Without finishing the sentence, Razan said "This was what I wanted to say, urm.. that girl is my ex.." and pointed to one of the girls, but Elina wasn't sure who.
Listening to that statement, one of the girls facing her stood up.
"So you're the bitch who stole Razan from me?" she said, with her hands on her hip, talking so furiously.
Elina looked at the girl, and back at Razan, who seems to evert his eyes at Elina's gaze.
"Hey, I'm not just a bitch who stole Razan, I'm THE bitch who stole Razan ok?" she said.
To which the other 4 girls stood up, and glared at Elina.
Looking at Razan frozen like a statue at the sight of his ex, Elina was furious.
"Bastard! Just keeping silent and not saying anything??" Elina thought.
"Razan baby.. let's just sit somewhere else where it's comfortable" Elina said.
"Where else would it be comfortable bitch? That's the only 2 seats left in the restaurant" Razan's ex exclaimed, to which the other 4 girls laughed.
Elina walked towards Razan, half hugged him, putting her hand around his waist, and then resting her head on his chest, smiling coyly, she said "Here's comfortable"
Razan put his arm around her waist too, listening to that cue, and kissed Elina's forehead.
Razan's ex just went berserk, her face contorted and became ugly -- she was ugly to begin with, thought Elina, and you could practically see heat waves coming out through her hair.
Watching that, Elina and Razan left Sushi King, and settled to eat at a fast food restaurant at another floor.
They were seating across each other, when Razan reached out his hand to touch Elina's hand which was on the table.
Elina looked at Razan's face, and said "There's no other girl right?"
Razan looked puzzled, pulled his hand away.
"Huh?"
"There's no one else except me right now?"Elina said again, louder.
"Yeah. What makes you think differently?" Razan said, smiling, and reaching out for Elina's hand again.
"Then put your handphone on the table. I want to check it" Elina said, in a matter of fact tone.
Razan took out his Sony Ericsson handphone. Placed it on the table. Next to Elina's plate.
Elina immediately check his messages.
Inbox. Elina. Elina. Elina.
No other names there.
Outbox. Elina. Elina. Elina.
No other names there.
Then she proceeded to see the call history.
No other girl names besides her. The others are all the names of Razan's friends, who she knows too.
"See. There's no one else besides you right?" Razan said, smiling.
Elina stared at Razan.
Razan tilted his head to the side. "Hurm?"
"Okay. There's no one else. Fine" Elina mumbled, then continued to eat her food.
Razan laughed.
"You ni comel tau time-time marah cam ni"
Elina just ignored the statement, and continued her meal.
"I need to go to the toilet" Razan said, and kissed Elina on the cheek before proceeding to the toilet.
Elina continued eating her meal, smiling.
"Razan.. such a fan of PDAs.. public displays of affection.." Elina thought.
Suddenly, Razan's hp vibrated.
1 new message. From Sarah.
"Should I read it?" Elina thought.
"Which Sarah is this? Do I know her? Maybe it's a relative?" all the questions came into Elina's mind.
She decided to leave the handphone alone, waiting eagerly for Razan to come back, and tell her who Sarah is.
After waiting for what seems like forever, Elina couldn't stand it, and unlock Razan's handphone.
1 new message.
Read?
Elina pressed yes.
"Sayang?"
The message written, clearly on the screen of the handphone.
"Baby?"
Elina could hear Razan's voice. She looked up.
At that moment, Razan showed up at the table.
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